By Julie Blair Riekse
It’s October and there’s so much to do: As the mother of young children, there are Halloween costumes to assemble, pumpkins to carve, gourd-and-leaf arrangements to place attractively around my suburban porch.
But that’s not all. No, I’ve got to make time to celebrate the technician in the white lab coat at Target who regularly cuts me a supply of Penicillin and ear drops. I was thinking of getting her a bouquet of fresh flowers. Perhaps I’ll also tuck some apple muffins into a basket for her.
After all, October is National American Pharmacist Month and I’m going to do my best to see that Phyllis feels honored.
While I’m at Target, I think I’ll check out the sales on Jif®.
November, you see, is National Peanut Butter Lover’s Month and I want to have both creamy and chunky formulas on hand.
But by December, I’ll turn the lights off in the kitchen and head up to my office as I’m dedicating all my energy to the most important celebration of the year: National Computer Learning Month.
Maybe if I finally immerse myself in my iMac’s® instruction manual, I’ll be able to print my own photo Christmas cards. Now that I think about it, accomplishing such a task would help me celebrate National Write a Friend Month—a Hallmark® Holiday that gets far too overshadowed by those crazy “recognized holidays”.
I may not be cooking in December, but I’ll sure as heck be doing a lot of stirring in January in honor of both National Soup Month and National Oatmeal Month.
In February, I’ll put down the ladle to make time to take my local Century 21® agent out for coffee as it’s National Get to Know an Independent Real Estate Broker Month. Or, maybe I’ll simply crack open a tin of sardines with her in celebration of National Canned Food Month.
March will come in like a lion—fine weather for fueling all the limericks I’ll be writing in National Poetry Month.
I’ll transform the prose into music in April for National Guitar Month. Then, I’ll run down to the mechanic’s union to belt out the hit in appreciation of National Welding Month.
Come to think of it, I really should take a picture of the crew. That way, I can fully enjoy National Photograph Month. (Also known as National Salad Month.)
My calendar is really full in June. There are several family birthdays, of course, but I’ll be ready to party with some turkey and milk. You see, the first official month of summer is also National Turkey Lovers Month and National Dairy Month. (And you thought it was November!)
It makes sense that July is both National Hot Dog Month and National Ice Cream Month (though is there really ever a wrong time to down a wiener and some Ben & Jerry’s?).
Come August, I might carve out a little time for the hubby. We’ll toast our eight blissful years of marriage with some municipal agua (it is National Water Quality Month) and admit we’re on a roll in honor of National Admit You’re Happy Month.
By September, I’ll be able to sit back and relax. I’ll have spent nearly a year working hard to acknowledge the efforts of those around me. I will have become a better person by doing so. That’s means I can fully appreciate National Self-Improvement Month.
Then, the leaves will begin to turn again. October is beautiful in Texas. That said, I’m sure I can think up something snitty to say about the blue skies and mild weather. After all, I’ll feel downright compelled: October is National Sarcastic Month.
Somehow, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble with that one.
Julie Blair Riekse is a Dallas-based freelance writer who loves to celebrate the everyday with her husband Jim and their three-year-old twins William and Elizabeth.
Brought to you by FunnyBio.com
Comments